About Me Malaysian, Kuala Lumpur, Aries, loves red, hates cockroaches, big money spender, financially broke,
loves the clouds during daylights and the stars when night falls, i don't have anyone special, yet, so email me...(ask me).
Sometimes I over-analyse things that happened to me. Or to my family and friends. I kept relating it to my wrong doings. What you give, you get back.
Karma is a bitch.
So last Thursday my mom had a stroke. Paralysed the whole left side of the poor woman. It was fortunate that in my line of work, I can get off to go home and tend to her. Helping her set up a new routine, get her meds, go see doctors and alternative plans to expedite her recovery.
Last night, as I laying in my bed, I was thinking. Was it because of me that God punishes my mom like this? For being gay, for having too much fun, for drinking, for about to ruining a marriage (I’ll get to it later). And then I cried.
A couple of friends calmly said that I am not responsible for this when I told them. God doesn’t pay much attention to hell resident like me to fuck up my mom like that. She had a stroke because God wanted to test her. Is she strong enough in this world to face all the tests before she becomes a permanent ticket holder to ride the highway to heaven?
Yeah. Right. Whatever.
Not that I don’t believe it. I do. In a way. But what bothers me was the way they say it. I know they meant well, but by saying that, you are also saying that God is a sadist. Not in the sexual context but in a way where for one to get rewarded with heaven, one is to get tested with some incident/disease or whatever.
I don’t want to think about this anymore.
I should stop over-analysing things and keep my focus to ruining a marriage.
Oh and the doctor treating my mom is one hot muscular yumminess in lab coat. I want to strip down and let him do thorough body exam. With that big package in his tight black pants.
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