About Me Malaysian, Kuala Lumpur, Aries, loves red, hates cockroaches, big money spender, financially broke,
loves the clouds during daylights and the stars when night falls, i don't have anyone special, yet, so email me...(ask me).
Have you ever wondered that one day, one of your many good friends would turn out to be a bitch and pathetic liar?!
I didn’t.
Because when I choose my friends, I did it carefully. And once I’ve considered them as my friends, I’m opening up the real me to them. Who I am, what I do, where I lives, the naked me. And when I do that, I expect them to do the same. To be whoever they are in my presence. No lies. No hiding themselves.
But of course I wouldn’t expect them to be dead honest about themselves. I don’t want to know any detail info about them. About their birthmarks or the number printed on their pay-cheque. Or anything related to even personal stuff like the fights you had with your dad or your mom or your bloody siblings. I don’t want to know all that.
I just want to know simple things like your birth date. Like what’s your job. Where do you lives. Well, that’s it. That’s what I need to know. Oh… maybe I wanted to know what kind of men you like, so that if I know any, I might introduce u to them.
And when I found out one of my good friends is a bitch and a pathetic liar, I was surprised. I am usually very particular when picking friends.
Because to me, friends are forever.
And when they are not, when they turned out to be bitchy fat liars that they are, I just don’t fucking care.
Now that the best sports event ever (except for the
Olympics men diving, men swimming and men gymnastics) is ongoing, I find myself
sitting in front of the tele at my work station with eyes glued on the screen
for most games. I look like a person who loves football, like gazillion
trazillion others, but the thing is I am not. I was watching these matches
because I’m screening their players.
Yes.
Oh please. Everybody does it.
I love the way the camera always manages to capture these
young sportsmen faces clearly, and sometimes when I’m real lucky, the camera
zoom in and I could see the bulges and sexy calves when they were running
chasing that sonofbitch of a ball. And then I memorised their shirt number and
country so I can google later. And then, I google the name with the word
‘shirtless’ added to it.
A friend of mine sent me this link; because she knows I would
appreciate it. I did. Go check it out.
Now I pretty much have a list of who I want to marry and
have 2.5 children with.
Seriously, don't tell me. I know I need a better hobby.
Here’s a thought. Can 3 person be together in a love
relationship? MMM or FFF or FFM or MMF? The first 2 would be homosexual for all
3 person and the last 2 are combination of bi and hetero. Can this be achieved
in real world?
Another thought that come to mind is nepotism. In any
love relationship, parents-children, siblings, uncles/aunts-nephews/nieces,
grandparents/grandchildren and best friends, there will be one person who we
love the most. No matter how you say you never favourite anyone, you actually
have one. Like seriously. The one you hang out with the most, the one you are
comfortable talking to, that person is your favourite.
So, applying the same theory to love-sexual relationship,
how can one loves 2 person equally?
So tell me, if this is right or like totally wrong. When
there’s a guy, who is like totally into another guy and wiling to blow his
dick, what is the right approach? From my point of view, the blower gets to
blow and be happy about it, and the blowee gets a decent blowjob without string
attach and some sexual release.
So I have a friend and he is actually like my best friend
for evah. When we were young and small (figuratively) people often mistaken us
for a twinsies. Well, not often, but there was this one time a makcik ask my
mother if we were twins.
“Yes.” Was my mak’s answer.
Mothers. *rolls eyes*
Anyhowwww, this friend of mine is like from Sarawak and
he has an aunt with magical power or something and she’s like can produce this
minyak where people are going to like you instantly. Like that is so what I
need right now.
In a multinational working environment, you will find a
group of minority who are jerks, gender-ists, and racists who still believe in
the idea of supremacist. They are very rare but still exist everywhere.
Including on-board the vessel I’m currently on.
Now that's a lot of ‘ist’s.
These people, of various posts and positions, will not
only look down at you because of the colour of your skin or the lacking of
fluency in their mother-tongue, but they also tend to judge your ability of
handling your own work. Questioning your skills and knowledge in what you do.
And you might feel small and swear profusely in your brain. I did.
But then again I’m the kind who gathers myself quickly
and fights back if I know I’m right. I’m the kind who questions back what they
know in stuff I do. And sometimes I went all silent, stare at them, and said
“Yeah.” A statement rather than an answer. And I walk away.
Because I shit glitters and fart rainbows. They don't.
It’s that season again. Everywhere I look, my friends are
either blessed with new-born babies or expecting them in a few months. I mean
like were they in some sort of pact or deal or something?
“Let’s impregnate the wives.”
“Yeah let’s!!!”
Not that I’m not happy for them. I am. But when I sit
down and mulling about what I’m going to do with my life, I couldn’t help but
wonder, am I ever going to have a child?
That question brought up not only a hint of my
desperation to become a father, but also the jealousy of seeing my friends and
their small nucleus family. Because I know the probability of me having a kid
to call my own is almost nil. With my current job, where I am constantly away
for long period assignments, I would be lacking in the ability to provide
quality time in carrying the fatherhood duty. Adoption for a single guy would
be a tough road that I’m not going venture in. Not for now anyway. And
matrimony is never in equation.
So what I hope is this. Since young Malaysians never heard
the word condom, and love to go forth and multiply even though there were
consequences, i.e pregnancy, I hope you people read this before you bin that
baby. Give it to me! Please! Contact me at (leave a message in the comment box for my email.). I won’t judge
you, I’ll pay for the delivery (and your stay to recuperate), and I’ll pay for
medication during pregnancy, and I will never report you to the police or
anyone.
Hearing news about finding dead babies in garbage or
longkang really breaks my heart. He/she deserves a chance of sleeping in a
wicker bassinet and be loved by someone. Never be a murderer.
That is the truest fact I have for now. Not that I
haven’t tried looking, but whenever I try to use those ‘social media’ websites for
gay men, I got distracted by profile pictures of the good looking ones, the
hottest bodies and those abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous specimens of mankind. I
never say hi though, because most of these people are douchebags.
Why douchebags? Because they are racists, age-ists,
weight-ists and personality-ists. They log in to find either one night stand or
a complete copy version of themselves. Like when you watch the ad for gay
people or watch certain kind of ‘movies’, they managed to exert a stereotype of
gay men that gay people everywhere has to follow.
And I wonder, where would the ugly, short, coloured, fat
and a little bit campy people like me have to go to find us a boyfriend. Maybe
not a soulmate (I don’t believe in soulmate; we’ll discuss this later) but a
kind human being who laugh at our jokes, who would miss us when we’re not
around, who would give us earth shattering orgasm regularly and one who spare a
little space in his heart for us.
I understand that I’m not living in a rom-com Hollywood
movie. Where the storyline would be once I’m done writing this, like as if in
magic, a hot guy would suddenly be interested in me. And we become a couple. And
30mins before movie ends, we will be having a huge fight, but all is well
before the credits rolls. But then again, I won’t be complaining if that’s
exactly what’s going to happen in a couple of days.
So where should I find these men. Men who wanted a
relationship and is very good in bed. Where should I hang around to find the
one? Because if they are not coming to get me, I’m coming for them.
